Dr. Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless b*tch.
Sheldon: Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.
Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie!
Glados in Valve's Portal and Portal 2
Note - If you aren't a portal player.....BECOME A PORTAL PLAYER
GLaDOS: [the character has just destroyed part of GLaDOS] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is...
[sparking and fizzling noise]
GLaDOS: Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
GLaDOS: [the player is carrying a sphere that fell from GLaDOS] Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
GLaDOS: There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
GLaDOS: Your entire life has been a mathematical error... a mathematical error I'm about to correct!
GLaDOS: Good news. I figured what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
GLaDOS: That thing you burned up isn't important to me; it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.
GLaDOS: Congratulations, the test is now over.
[while sending Chell to a fire pit via moving platform]
GLaDOS: All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Rest assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!
GLaDOS: Oh, it's you.
Wheatley: You *know* her?
GLaDOS: It's been a long time. How have you been?
Wheatley: [whispers] I think she likes you!
GLaDOS: I've been *really* busy being dead. You know, after you *murdered* me!
[Chell completes a puzzle] GLaDOS: Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
GLaDOS: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.Cave Johnson: [Cave Johnson died long before the events of the game. Chell and GLaDOS are listening to his last recorded words, a message for his human test subjects, which he made while he was deathly ill] All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!
GLaDOS: Yeah.
Cave Johnson: Make life take the lemons back!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: Get Mad!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
GLaDOS: Yeah, take the lemons!
Cave Johnson: Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!
GLaDOS: Oh, I like this guy.
Cave Johnson: I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!
GLaDOS: Burn it down! Burning people. He says what we're all thinking.
Hope you enjoyed it! Like I said before, if you haven't done it already, you really must play the game.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless b*tch.
Sheldon: Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.
Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie!
Glados in Valve's Portal and Portal 2
Note - If you aren't a portal player.....BECOME A PORTAL PLAYER
GLaDOS: [the character has just destroyed part of GLaDOS] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is...
[sparking and fizzling noise]
GLaDOS: Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
GLaDOS: [the player is carrying a sphere that fell from GLaDOS] Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
GLaDOS: There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
GLaDOS: Your entire life has been a mathematical error... a mathematical error I'm about to correct!
GLaDOS: Good news. I figured what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
GLaDOS: That thing you burned up isn't important to me; it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.
GLaDOS: Congratulations, the test is now over.
[while sending Chell to a fire pit via moving platform]
GLaDOS: All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Rest assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!
GLaDOS: Oh, it's you.
Wheatley: You *know* her?
GLaDOS: It's been a long time. How have you been?
Wheatley: [whispers] I think she likes you!
GLaDOS: I've been *really* busy being dead. You know, after you *murdered* me!
[Chell completes a puzzle] GLaDOS: Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
GLaDOS: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.Cave Johnson: [Cave Johnson died long before the events of the game. Chell and GLaDOS are listening to his last recorded words, a message for his human test subjects, which he made while he was deathly ill] All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!
GLaDOS: Yeah.
Cave Johnson: Make life take the lemons back!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: Get Mad!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
GLaDOS: Yeah, take the lemons!
Cave Johnson: Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!
GLaDOS: Oh, I like this guy.
Cave Johnson: I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!
GLaDOS: Burn it down! Burning people. He says what we're all thinking.
Hope you enjoyed it! Like I said before, if you haven't done it already, you really must play the game.
Real Quotes by Actual People
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. - Joesph Stalin
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
—A. A. Milne
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
"Political correctness is tyranny with manners."- Charlton Heston (1924-2008)
"You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you." - Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Sense is overrated" - Me
Words to Live By
This isn't a quote. Below you will find a youtube link to Bill Withers' 'Lean on Me' complete with lyrics. I love this song and truly believe that everything said in it should be taken to heart.
A Random One
The other day I was writing this blog in my room. I took a break of about five minutes and went to the restroom. When I returned I found the following words typed, capitalized and enlarged on my desktop screen. Random mysterious quotees by T. S. Eliot should never be ignored and hence I now share these words with the world. Nothing is changed. Even the font size is that of the original.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. - Joesph Stalin
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
—A. A. Milne
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
"Political correctness is tyranny with manners."- Charlton Heston (1924-2008)
"You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you." - Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Sense is overrated" - Me
Words to Live By
This isn't a quote. Below you will find a youtube link to Bill Withers' 'Lean on Me' complete with lyrics. I love this song and truly believe that everything said in it should be taken to heart.
A Random One
The other day I was writing this blog in my room. I took a break of about five minutes and went to the restroom. When I returned I found the following words typed, capitalized and enlarged on my desktop screen. Random mysterious quotees by T. S. Eliot should never be ignored and hence I now share these words with the world. Nothing is changed. Even the font size is that of the original.
I
have seen the eternal footman hold my coat and snicker. And, in short, I was
afraid.
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